I’ve never met a parent whose goal was to raise a self-centered child, but the influence of the world can make raising an others-centered child challenging work. Students used to ask me what my favorite color was and I would reply, “bronze,” not because it was a color I loved but because it gave me an opportunity to teach a Gospel truth. Bronze signifies third place, so I’d tell the kids I prayed for the grace to be third, leaving first place for God and second place for others. 

Here are a few ideas for helping kids see the importance of humility, love and service while avoiding a sense of entitlement.

• Gratitude
  Focus on what you have instead of what you want. Jealousy and entitlement stem from paying attention to what others have without giving thanks for what we have. Pose the question: If you woke up tomorrow morning and the only things you had were the things you thanked God for yesterday, what would you be left with? 
   
• Waiting 
  We can get almost anything we need or want in a flash and while it’s convenient, it doesn’t teach us to wait well or learn the art of delayed gratification. Consider putting that “I need it” item on the shopping list until next week’s trip to the store rather than having it delivered to your porch the next morning. Encourage kids to put things on a wish list and wait for birthdays, Christmas or until they’ve saved up enough money. It’s amazing how many things can drop to the bottom or completely off the list with the passage of time. Make it clear that just because something made it to the list doesn’t mean it will appear.
   
• Sacrifice 
  Make sure phrases such as “we have enough” and “we’ll have to make do” are part of your family vocabulary. Resist the urge to offer lots of choices. Having two or three choices for a snack rather than a buffet can help teach simplicity. Going back to the “basic necessities” is a great place to begin if you need a reset. Kids probably don’t need eight pairs of shoes and a stuffed dresser, closet and toy bin.
   
• Service 
  Making room in our life for the needs of others is how we grow in holiness and work for a solid “third-place” finish! Teaching our kids to notice and respond to the needs of another is powerful because it’s impossible to focus on yourself if you’re helping someone else. If you discover you have “extra,” include your children in packing up and sharing the extra. Encourage your child to share their favorite snack at the school food drive instead of one they don’t enjoy. Donating a package of their beloved Oreos rather than a can of lima beans will have more of an impact.
   
• Model 
  None of this helps our kids unless we are living it ourselves, so practice together and ask for the grace of JOY: J=Jesus, O=others and Y=you.