Offer the gift of forgiveness this season
Growing up in a family with two kids, I was both delighted and challenged by my wife’s 10 siblings. Their high-volume family gatherings are filled with laughter, fun, love, occasional disagreements, and all sorts of personalities, perspectives and beliefs. In every family, not everyone will always see eye to eye, feelings can be hurt and there’s potential for lingering resentment and frustration. My in-laws are no exception, and yet they’ve worked hard to move forward together even when it’s complicated or there have been relational rifts.
Growing up in a family with two kids, I was both delighted and challenged by my wife’s 10 siblings. Their high-volume family gatherings are filled with laughter, fun, love, occasional disagreements, and all sorts of personalities, perspectives and beliefs. In every family, not everyone will always see eye to eye, feelings can be hurt and there’s potential for lingering resentment and frustration. My in-laws are no exception, and yet they’ve worked hard to move forward together even when it’s complicated or there have been relational rifts.
In particular, holidays and special occasions are seen as opportunities to put aside differences, prioritize each other and embrace forgiveness. It’s not always clean, but the Donovan family really loves each other and, it should be noted in light of the current season, they really love Christmas.
There are few things more damaging to our spiritual lives than unforgiveness. When we harbor resentment and refuse to extend mercy and forgiveness, we don’t live in freedom, but rather bondage. Forgiveness is hard. It’s painful, unnatural even. Instinctually, our response to the bad behavior of others is to cut them off, protect ourselves and maintain our distance. While there are certainly times and situations where we need to intentionally back away from someone or something, we are always called to forgive.
Remember, forgiveness isn’t a feeling but a choice. Jesus modeled this for us on the cross as he forgave his executioners even as they continued to mock and torture him. So many families have allowed sinful and damaging behavior to permanently sever relationships. Once again, sometimes detachment is the most loving response, but very often we need to be willing to wade into the uncomfortable waters of forgiveness as a means of restoring and strengthening our relational connections and our own spiritual freedom.
During this Christmas season, we have the opportunity to offer the tremendous gift of forgiveness to those who have hurt us. Many Christmas pillows have the saying, “Peace on earth and goodwill to men” cross-stitched on them, and we should take that literally. What would this season look like if we actually pursued peace and goodwill with those whom the Lord has put in our lives? Don’t wait for the opportune moment or when you feel like forgiving, just do it because it’s what love demands. God the Father honors a forgiving heart. This holiday season, don’t just give physical gifts but give spiritual ones as well. If my in-laws can, so can you!
Pete Burak is the vice president of Renewal Ministries. He has a master’s degree in theology, and is a frequent speaker at events for youth and young adults.
