Not leaving empty-handed

You have spent years teaching, modeling, praying and guiding your kids and your mission has been to keep them holy and safe. Trust they will take those lessons and good examples with them. You have lovingly prepared them, and the next step is to let them apply what they have learned.

The shift

As our kids head off to practice their independence, our role shifts from primary protector and provider to resource and reference. You have entered the stage when it’s time to let them discover what they don’t know and understand and then ask for your advice instead of offering a steady stream of “I-think-you-shoulds.”

Lift up the worry

Yes, our kids will make mistakes; they will make bad decisions; they will meet people who demonstrate behaviors, beliefs and attitudes we don’t agree with; they will be tested, tempted and overwhelmed at times. But don’t let that lead you to constant worry. Many of the experiences we went through that made us the strong faithful adults we are today were tough, but we maneuvered through them. The same is true for our kids, and so “saving them” from all of the tough stuff will put them at a disadvantage. To bring some peace to the worry, one particular line from Paul’s Letter to the Philippians offers great truth: “I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (1:6) Our kids will leave our home, but they will never leave the love, protection and grace of God. You played a huge part in the “good work he began,” now let him bring it to completion.

Preparing the essentials

More important than buying new socks and underwear and making sure the car is in good working order is to help them keep the Catholic faith in their heart. Make sure they leave home with a Bible and a prayer book. The sending is your job; the opening is theirs. A medal, statue or holy card sent in a care package from time to time is a powerful reminder they have great help. Sending a Scripture quote occasionally that connects to something happening in their life can offer comfort and peace.

Tearful truth

As a parent, my kids and grandkids are my “whole heart” and that is a beautiful gift and grace of motherhood, but I’m not supposed to be their “whole heart.” God gave my husband and me the gift of children so we could raise them up to be his — not so they could be our best buddies, live in our basement forever and be the focus of our social calendar. The love we have for them is meant to go with them as they find the place in life God has planned for them. That longing in my heart to “have them little again” is my reminder to pray for them, ask God to protect and guide them and remember he loves them more than I ever could.