Discern

Before you determine the proper age, procedures and policies for screen time, take these big decisions to prayer. Sometimes we do things because it’s common practice and we don’t want our kids to feel “left out or left behind.” Do some homework about the effects of technology on kids the age of your children, listen to the experts on both sides of the debate and pray about how what you have learned applies to your child.

Big questions to ponder

Time is precious; so what will screen minutes replace in your family? Why does your child need technology? How will technology, or more technology, help your child grow in discipleship and get to heaven? Keep in mind that absolutely nothing can replace live, in-person connection within a family. If you struggle to find time to eat, play outside and pray together as a family, be sure to pray about how that balances against family technology use.

Our job

Foremost, we are to help our kids be holy, healthy and safe, so it’s important to look at the ways technology is helping or hurting our kids on these three fronts. The mission for us and for our children is to look at all the things we do and ask, “How does this bring glory to God?” There are dozens of apps and sites that truly help us grow in holiness and learn about our faith, but it’s up to us to model and monitor which parts of our day are helping and which are hurting.

Thoughts to ponder

A couple of thoughts on the “when” and “how” of technology use. Have you ever heard a parent say, “I wish I’d have given them a smartphone sooner”? And this: “How we use technology and the sites it takes us to are a mirror of our character and our discipleship.” If our main job is to help our kids get to heaven, we need to consider how technology use is influencing them. No technology, ever, isn’t reasonable, but knowledge about how and when to use it wisely is critical.

Three roles

As parents, you are the authority behind the device who determines the rules, the time, the locations. You are the guard and protector of their minds and hearts, which requires open conversation, observation and follow-up if they are exposed to people, words, images or ideas that are contrary to faith and family expectations. You are also the guide and model who teaches, models and monitors responsible and respectful technology use. The need for modeling responsible technology use cannot be overstated; our kids watch closely all we say and do.

Seek the wisdom of others

Talk to parents you trust who have children older than yours and ask them to share their experiences and wise advice. Pray for balance to use the gift of technology well.