I was giving a talk about Mary and the saints to a small group of women who meet weekly to pray together. One woman, who was not raised Catholic and didn’t know much about Mary or why Catholics pray to her, asked a perfectly reasonable question: “Why would I go to Mary or the saints when I can go directly to Jesus?”

Her question is a good one and quite common. Here is one very simple way to think about it.

All my life, when I’ve had a big problem, some really serious need or dilemma, one of the first calls I make is to my mom. My mom is a very prayerful person and wise, so I know the advice she gives me springs from her experience. But more than that, my mom knows me, she loves me probably as much as any other person on the planet. I know her prayers for me will be powerful because she loves me so much and knows me so well.

It's the same thing with Mary, the Blessed Mother. In heaven, where she reigns as mother to all, her prayers are exceptionally powerful and effective for us because she is truly holy, she is so close to the Lord, and because she understands the human condition. She knows exactly how hard human life can be.

The prayers of the saints have a similar kind of power because they are so close to the Lord in heaven, and because they know so intimately our sufferings. St. Peregrine suffered from cancer and understands it well, thus he is a patron to those with cancer. St. Dymphna is the patroness of those who suffer with anxiety, mental or nervous disorders because she suffered with those things, too. The wisdom and experience of the saints who are further down the road to holiness than we are can give us strength and courage and break through any feelings of isolation we might experience. They know the road we’re on and can help us to walk it faithfully.

Should we go directly to Jesus when we have a need? Absolutely. But we can also go to Mary and the saints, just like we would with any close friend, to help us carry our burdens and show us the way through life’s challenges. They know firsthand, and in a very personal way, our needs and struggles and it is their joy to intercede for us at the very throne of Jesus, our Lord.

This week, make an extra stop at your local church or favorite shrine. Find a statue of Mary that speaks to you and sit with her for a few moments. If you aren’t able to travel to a church or shrine, find an image of Mary that you love and pray with that instead. Tell her your troubles, hopes or fears, just as you would to a friend you know and trust. Ask her to pray for you, that you will find strength and support when you need it, and wisdom to know the best way forward. Try to sit quietly for a few moments and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart. Complete your mini-retreat with your favorite mystery of the rosary, giving thanks to God.

Sometimes the graces we receive from our attempts at prayer do not come right away. Sometimes they show up later. Even if you have no sense that anything “happened” in your heart while you were praying, stay open and alert. God can send us his graces any time, and it might be that your graces are still “on their way” to the door of your heart.