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 | By Adam Cross

The ‘no fear’ step

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In life we are faced with many choices, decisions, paths and questions: what college to apply to, who to hang out with this weekend, or the bigger question of our vocation – how God is calling us to become holy. No matter the decision before us, God doesn’t expect us to go it alone, and gives us real tools to navigate life’s decisions.

 

Start here

Regardless of the options before us, the foundation for healthy and holy decision making is prayer. Prayer isn’t just asking, God, what should I do? It's also inviting him into the depths of your heart: telling him how you feel; what you worry about; and what you think about on a daily basis. Prayer can be the platform and the opportunity to talk out, brainstorm and process how you think and feel about any choices that lie before you. In prayer you can present all of your experiences to the Father, who knows you and loves you more than anyone else. He gives us grace and peace to choose things big and small, and prayer is the solid foundation to discern what is best with the Lord’s help.

Look here

When we approach making a decision and are inviting God in, we should also examine our feelings and emotions toward the choice before us. So often even when we are making small choices, such as what to do this weekend or when to finish that paper that’s due, there are huge beliefs at our core about life, ourselves, others and God that guide our behavior. If you find yourself procrastinating on a project, there may be an underlying belief that "I might fail,” or “it's going to be too hard,” which causes us to resist getting to work. If we find ourselves avoiding talking to certain friends, family and even God, we may be thinking, “What if they think I’m not good enough?” or “What if they judge me?” Whatever the choice or decision is, our beliefs guide not only emotions and thoughts, but our behaviors and choices. We must examine how our beliefs direct our lives.

Shhh!

As we take a deeper look at the choices before us, we can intentionally lean into the quiet. Leaving space for silence, prayer and journaling, and naming our thoughts, emotions and fears can help us take that next step. Something as simple as naming our emotions in prayer or setting time aside to journal quietly can help us acknowledge where we are and where we would like to go. We often don’t have to strain harder to figure out what to do next. Instead, slowing down, listening for the Lord, and turning to Scripture, the sacraments or a friend we trust are the best ways to discern where to go next.

Step in faith

Whatever the choice may be, we never need to journey alone. Next time you have a decision to make, notice what is on your heart – thoughts, emotions and beliefs – and invite God into the process with the Church and its wisdom as your guide. Each time we listen to the Lord and our own interior experiences, we are better able to remember the Lord’s strength and grace in our lives and to step out and choose to live with the call to “be not afraid” in all that we do.


Adam Cross is a licensed marriage and family therapist in California, and he worked as a youth minister at his local parish for 8 years. Adam loves to integrate the Catholic faith into his therapy practice.

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