Cait and I were delighted but not terribly surprised, since each of our children has experienced something similar as they began their time at school. The new environment created new opportunities for new relationships and, for most children, it comes naturally to find and keep new playmates. This pattern seems to continue for many of us through our middle school, high school and college-aged years. We find ourselves in new places, forced to interact with strangers, and while we often carry past relationships forward with us, we instinctively look to find “our people” – a circle of friends with whom to run, grow and mature.

For some reason, though, as adulthood sets in, this instinct and desire for new friendships often diminishes or is supplanted by the demands of work, marriage or family life. While this reality is understandable, it poses a serious problem for the effectiveness of the Church’s missionary mandate. Healthy evangelization and discipleship requires friendship, an ongoing mutually beneficial relationship where each person is challenged, supported and moved toward greater holiness.

Both those who know and follow Christ (on the path of discipleship), and those who are yet to experience conversion (on the path of evangelization), need people to come alongside them and observe what God is doing in them – not just as a project to be completed, but as a person to be loved! Jesus himself calls us friends in John 15:15, and he desires that everyone would enter into that depth of relationship with him. It’s no wonder we struggle to evangelize if we settle for the worldly temptation to shrug and say, “well, it’s hard these days to make friends.”

If people experience us as simply wanting to fix them, they will be predisposed to reject what we offer. On the other hand, if they experience Christians willing and able to break through the societal friendship malaise, they will be intrigued to understand who we are and why.

If Zeke can make a friend, so can you. Now, go engage in the evangelistic work of Christ by getting to know people, understanding and acknowledging their hearts, and then lovingly introducing them to your best friend, Jesus Christ.